Thursday, March 27, 2008

Why Never To Invite Me To Your Party

I know most of you think that because I live in LA, my life must naturally be super glamorous and involve a lot of booze, hookers and blow. And I mean, well OBVIOUSLY it does, that's pretty much the law here. I DO however do my part for the environment, and insist on only the finest organic blow though. Preferably fair black market trade.

(Heh, can I tell you that I actually just had to look up blow on Wikipedia to make sure it really was the drug I thought it was. I am so cool. Lindsey, Paris, call me!)

Anyway, last night I was in Hollywood, doing the Hollywood drink thang. And look, I can talk shop with the best of them, I read my trades, I occasionally peruse Defamer. I know that TMZ stands for thirty-mile zone. But I'm not used to it so much anymore, I've been kind of a bad networker lately, preferring to spend my free time seeing music shows or making crackers or reading books or drinking wine with a close friend. So, I'm a little out of it amongst people for whom this is a nightly ritual. I was doing my best though, and it was all going well.

And then... okay first of all, I want to START by blaming the wine. When I get drunk, I start losing inhibitions and when I start losing inhibitions the eco-nut in me comes out.

So here's what happened. I was talking to this guy and somehow Sharper Image came up. And we got started talking about all the pointless junk items there are in the world, and we were making fun of all the dumb gadgets we'd seen or coveted or even ended up BUYING for God knows what reason. And then I couldn't help it and I totally blabbed about my non-consumer project which FASCINATED him, so that encouraged me to talk more, and somehow we ended up talking about health care and from there on we ended up talking about libertarianism, states rights, CAFOs and then I started quoting Michael Pollan.

By then I was starting to sober up, and as such, was sort of realizing to my chagrin that I had just spent two hours not at all talking shop. And that this guy was a stranger who was now probably going to know me as Crazy Lady Who Hasn't Bought New Clothes In Seven Months. So, I began apologizing for the weighty tone our conversation had taken.

"Oh no!" he said. "It's so cool to have an ACTUAL conversation in Hollywood," and he handed me his business card. "Let's keep in touch."

"Sure," I said, "I'll email you so you have my info."

I am not a natural at networking. I don't like it, and I don't work at it as much as I should. So, I don't think I've ever before gone to drinks with a bunch of people I didn't know, and actually made a viable contact in one night. Which is kind of okay by me. I still make contacts, I just make them slowly, and build stronger ties with the fewer contacts I have. But it was kind of cool to drive home and realize, hey, I totally kicked networking ASS tonight!

Which brings me to the moral of my story:

1) I am a total nerd and deserve to never be invited to anything ever again.
2) If you give them a chance, people will totally surprise you. I've always said that while there are a lot of shallow people in LA, there are also a lot of really cool, intelligent people here. Even in Hollywood. Last night, my acquaintance proved me right.

Tonight I'm planning on going to an LA Green Drinks event. (Though I reserve the right to chicken out because I'm not going to know ANYONE there at ALL, and as much as I kicked networking ass and all, two nights in a row might be too much for me.) But it'll be interesting to see how tonight contrasts with last night. I'll let you know....


Sam said...

I didn't know that hookers were a part of your life. Good to know.
After coming across the Dervaes family, I figured that anything was possible in L.A. They've been so inspirational to me with their once-a-week-showering, growing-most-of-their-food ways .

I used to read pink is the new blog to brush up celeb knowledge, but there is so much shiny/blinky things on that website it gave me a headache. Also I think its a bit mean to harass the celeb...whether warranted or not.

I had a similar experience to yours and I went on and on about some of my eco-nuttery and scared away a poor woman. She was a friend of a friend and I know she has a giant clutter problem, and insensitive-drunk me went on and on about the wonders of minimalism.

One of my many lifelong dreams is to be completely audacious...and I think I am making good progress on that front.

Unknown said...

Same here. Only under serious influence, will I let out the eco-nut side of me. Then I will apologize for scaring people. These days I don't get to be in the I-am-drunk-and-I-can-save-the-world-
so-you-better-listen-to-me state very much, so I guess it has severely cramped my big-mouth style.

I think your slow networking is great. That's quality networking. Keep up the good work.

Mad Hatter said...

Arduous, you totally scored one for women who are cool, fun, and can carry on an intelligent conversation...while drunk, no less! My hat's off to you. :-)

The bean-mom said...

Great story! People can really surprise you--congrats on making a contact with a seemingly thoughtful, intelligent guy!

And I don't even know what "blow" is. That's how out-of-it I am.

Crunchy Chicken said...

See, this eco-bandwagon thing you've boarded is gonna get you laid. Or something.

I'm glad you were representin' the rest of us dorks well. Keep up the good work!

Green Bean said...

It's so nice to have a bird's eye view into the Hollywood party scene. Who knew, arduous?

Seriously, though, it's awesome that you got drunk and had a totally meaningful conversation with a random stranger. ;-) So often I keep my eco-geekness to myself but, seriously, how can other people become aware if we all sit home, silently, in our dimmly lit homes. Party hearty!

organicneedle said...

I'm sure you absolutely were the most interesting woman there..drunk or not.

Thanks for the French wine tip. I also thought of another good rationalization...many European wine makers are smaller family owned businesses. When you think about it...drinking gallons of good wine and scaring people at parties is simply being environmentally responsible. Ordering by the case would just make me extra environmentally, no?

Kale for Sale said...

I loved this. I have tears in my eyes from laughing. Thank you. My friends won't talk to me about Michael Pollan things anymore. It could be the smell of my hair on fire, I don't know. Maybe I should drink more.

I also loved your - I'm not buying it shout in the middle of a Target store.