Thursday, March 13, 2008

Eco or Nut

Yesterday, Beany said that she liked reading my blog because it was like, proof that there are other people out there who are just as crazy as she is, or even crazier than she is. I find it interesting that Miz S*ck But Don't F*ck finds my posts about the Diva Cup oh so out there! Whatevs, Beany, I am SO NOT as nutty as you!! :)

But Beany brings up a good point. Because, see, there is a fine line between being good to the environment, and being crazy. I know, I know, crazy eco-bloggers it is hard to see that line sometimes. Because what seemed nutty to us once, like the diva cup, now seems oh so sane. And the more you delve into the green blogosphere the more that crazy becomes normal, and you start to wonder, if said fine line even exists. Can anything be crazy where saving the earth is concerned?

Well, I'm here to tell you that the answer to that is yes. And to help you understand the fine line between crazy green and just plain old crazy, I have drawn up this handy primer.

Eco: Looking for a mate who shares your passion for the environment.
Nuts: Leading with, "I don't use toilet paper and I compost my poop," on a first date.

Eco: Bringing in your own dishes and utensils to work to avoid using disposable products.
Nuts: Screaming, "It's killing the world! Get it away from me!" and fleeing the room when the Big Boss gives you a piece of birthday cake on a paper plate.

Eco: Greening up your birth control.
Nuts: Skipping the condom with Dude You Just Met At The Bar because of the plastic waste.

Eco: Expressing your disapproval over pesticide spraying by writing the Governor a strongly worded email.
Nuts: Expressing your disapproval by drunk dialing the Governor and singing "You Oughta Know," into his voice mail.

Eco: Using hot pasta water to kill weeds.
Nuts: Saving greywater to kill aliens. Aliens who die when they touch water are NEVER GOING TO COME TO A PLANET THAT IS MOSTLY WATER. I don't care what M. Night tells you! This also holds true for saving greywater to kill wicked witches.

Eco: Adhering to a healthy vegan diet.
Nuts: Refusing to breastfeed your baby at all costs because breast milk comes from an animal.

Eco: Telling your friends how much you like your new diva cup.
Nuts: Talking about your cycle all through Thanksgiving dinner with your new Sig O's family, and then asking his mom if she'd like some of your blood to fertilize her plants.

Any questions?

11 comments:

Chile said...

ROFLMAO! That last one was great. "Want some blood fertilizer?" haha

EcoGeoFemme said...

lol!

Green Bean said...

Funny, funny, funny! I was actually just about to post on the same topic - though not in the same hilarous vein as your post. :)

organicneedle said...

Hysterical post! Thanks to you my plans are set tonight. I'll be sure to grab the wine, Mayor Bloomberg's number, and that old Morissette CD and let the good times roll.

Jennifer said...

I am in SHOCK about the woman who refused to breastfeed...

and I SO don't understand!

I mean, the point of veganism is to honor animals by not using them or their hard work to feed yourself (oversimplification, of course)... but you as a human are perfectly able to say "yes, I make that choice" unlike the cow or chicken or whatever.

Beany said...

This post is hysterical!

And you forgot the l*ck aspect of my environmental campaign.

Although per your criteria I'm not nutso but eco...I'd like the nutso label just because its more distinctive. "Eco" sounds a little lame.

Re: your first item on dating...One of my friends started dating again and she had this political criteria that she wanted her dates to adhere to. So if her date was against an issue near and dear to her heart, he never heard from her again. I thought it was a bit much, I mean I don't expect everyone I meet to be a composter but I'd like to not be judged negatively for loving my wormies.

Cindy said...

You are hurting me! I can't stop coughing after laughing so hard. Thanks a lot. I will add one:

Eco: Striving to live in a small space and make do with less.

Nuts: Living on the toilet for two years and getting her behind stuck on it (http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jpMo5pdCnadyrY2ypTwfBfsPFxQwD8VC6F800

Chile said...

Hey arduous, my sweetie already wrote up the used bike advice. Go read it and get yourself a ride!

Student Doctor Green said...

I laughed so hard. OMG I'm actually crying. That was hilarious!

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