Friday, February 8, 2008

Infestation of the Sock Gnomes

I have a problem. Specifically a sock gnome problem. You might have this problem too. See, my apartment is infested with sock gnomes. When I'm not at home, they sneak into my sock drawer and steal my socks. Except they don't like to steal a whole pair. No, that would be too easy. Instead they like to steal one half of a pair. Leaving me with dozens of partnerless socks.

It's a sad state of affairs, and I've tried everything I could to rid my house of this sock gnome infestation, but they're just too hardy and wily! So instead, I've resigned myself to the sock gnomes and have come up with various things to do with my orphan socks.

1) Wear them. If I'm wearing tall boots, or ankle boots with jeans, my socks aren't noticeable. So I just wear mismatched socks.

2) Use them to dust. I used to love these disposable feather dusters, but they're not so environmentally friendly. So instead, I pull a sock over my hand, dust, and then throw the sock in the washing machine.

3) Use them to make rice-socks to keep me warm at night.

4) Use them as a carrying case for an ipod. (Pick a cute mismatched sock for this one.)

5) Use them to make sock puppets. Okay, I don't do this. But I hear Phoebe Buffay does!

6) Use them instead of paper towels. Since I don't use paper towels, I desperately need more kitchen cloths, but since I can't buy new stuff, I've been using socks at times to clean up spills.

7) Use them to hold change. I have a cup for this, but when I want to take the change to Coinstar, I used to put the coins in a Ziploc bag. But since I am now reusing my Ziplocs, and don't want that grime on a sandwich bag, I put the change in a sock.

8) I haven't done this, but I could send extra orphan socks to One Small Step.

9) Use them to smack other people when they annoy me. :)

10) Keep em in the sock drawer in the vain hope that one day the sock gnomes will return my socks.

Cindy W, thanks for inspiring me to write this post!


Jennifer said...

My solution to this problem happened 4 years ago... I started buying lots of exactly the same sock. They are all black cotton somewhat slim socks, a standard crew height. They work with my clogs AND with dress loafer/shoes. They work with brown shoes and black shoes. Now I just reach my hand in the drawer every morning and pull out two socks. They always match. :) I'm so boring!

I've been trying to figure out what to do with the holey socks, though. One of my goals is to learn to darn socks and repair them for a few more wearings... but for now they have all made it into the rag basket. Your list has given me even more options to work with!

Back 4 years ago when I wore cute socks, I had GOBBS of mismatched socks... all waiting in vain for their mates. Poor socks.

Green Bean said...

Nice one! I love the list. I posted tee shirt reuses over at Cindy's blog. Anyway, I mostly do #10 but I've also done as Jennifer suggests and, when I buy new socks, buy several matching ones. I also do #1.

Jennifer, if you ever do learn to darn socks, please post about it. I'm clueless as to where to begin but remember my grandmother having one of those egg shaped things for darning when I was young.

Chile said...

I love dusting with socks. It's so easy.

Arduous, check out your nomination for an Excellent Blog award here. :)

ScienceMama said...

Dude, a sock full of nickels is an awesome weapon.

Sam said...

I do what jennifer does as well. All my socks are the same color. Well two colors: black and white. Although I am no fashion icon I believe black socks with sneakers may be a no-no.

Once in a while I do wear mismatched socks (hot pink and black for example) when I wear pants. When people complain I tell them to quit looking at my feet.

Using sock weapons is an excellent idea. You could probably use them when exercising too....

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