My friend Shorty passed away on Friday. It was completely unexpected; as far as we knew she was totally fine on Monday. So I'm going to take a second to do a little PSA: guys, you never know what's going to happen when. Make a plan. Keep a written record of your passwords, especially if you do banking etc online only. Write up a living will. I know it feels silly and morbid. Get over it. My friend was thirty years old. (And yes, this advice is as much for me as it is for everyone else. When my dad passed away unexpectedly a few years ago, I swore I'd get all this together, and I didn't. This is another reminder that I need to take care of all of this. Now. Okay PSA over.)
The memorial service is on Thursday, which meant that I decided to stay in town this weekend and attend my friends' S&D's wedding, and I'm so glad I got to go. It was lovely to have many of my close friends around me (including ScienceMama and her adorable Bean.) The ceremony was beautiful, if bittersweet for me. When the rabbi explained to us that that the breaking of the glass is a symbol for the fragility of life, I got all choked up. But I reined it in, so that I could offer my mazel tov to the bride and groom. And then we drank champagne, and toasted S&D repeatedly, and hit the dance floor.
And on Thursday I fly to the Midwest. As difficult as the past few days have been, I keep trying to focus on all the wonderful memories I have of my friend. I want to celebrate her life, which was so vibrant and filled with joy. She was one of the most energetic, ebullient people I've met, and that's what I want to remember. I want to remember her love for Dave Matthews and Big Ten football. Her passion for the world around her. Her obsession with NPR.
I am so lucky to have had her in my life for the past ten years. She was a dear friend, the best roommate, and an amazing person.
Wherever you are, my friend, I miss you, I love you, and I will always cherish the memories I have of you. Requiescat In Pace.
6 months ago
I'm so sorry, Arduous. You have my deepest condolences. I hope the funeral gives you comfort.
First, I am so very sorry. Second your dedication to your friend is making me cry. At times like this, one often rethinks about the priority of her/his life. I had a moment of clarity not too long ago. And it was to live my life to the fullest, to care for the people I loved to the best of my ability, to work on something that I could believe in. I made some big changes in my life and have not looked back. I see that as a gift from my friend and I am forever thankful to her.
I am so very very sorry, Arduous. Your tribute to your friend is beautiful. Like ecogeofemme, I hope the funeral gives you comfort.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry! Thank you for sharing your memories of your friend and for reminding us all to live our lives to the fullest.
I don't like to comment when people are going through a hard time because...I feel that its a bit dumb and I don't know what to say/type. I don't mean to be cold. I don't know if silence is any better either. I was horrified at Crunchy posted about her husband's bad news...and this was so sudden. I wish it didn't have to happen.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Arduous. Your advice is good. Let me also add that in addition to get financial stuff together, remember to live each day as if it could be your very last. Don't put the good stuff off until "later". Hug your family today and tell your friends you love them.
What a great tribute to a friend. Lots of hugs.
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