It never fails to shock me that the world keeps spinning on its axis, even in the face of tragedy. I remember that the morning after my dad died, I was vaguely surprised to see the newspaper so full of ordinary, mundane news, when clearly the world would never be the same again. And yesterday I couldn't believe how much news there was on the election, yes the same election I've been obsessed with for months.
But I don't care about the election right now. I only care about my friend. And I want to be able to Google her name and get her current status, instead of you know, her Linked In profile. I keep obsessively checking her blog. Why? I couldn't tell you.
I think this might be the slight advantage to public tragedy. In a public tragedy, everyone mourns with you, and you can watch CNN for updates. Of course the downside is that you get politicians trying to out-do each other in their empathy for you, and CNN is really only reporting your tragedy because tragedy brings higher ratings.
Anyway, I'm still in LA for various reasons and I feel totally helpless. Of course as a friend pointed out, I wouldn't be any less helpless were I out there. And it sucks. It sucks to sit and wait and to not be able to do anything. This is the advantage of being religious, and I'm not a big fan of organized religion, but prayer is definitely something to *do.* A way to feel less impotent.
Sorry for the bleak nature of this post, but this is really all I can think about right now.
5 months ago