Thursday, December 6, 2007

Consumption Gone Wild!

Okay, I know I have neither been pregnant, nor gone through labor. I know from my pregnant and formerly pregnant friends, that pregnancy is rough and uncomfortable and that labor is no picnic either. So I know that I shouldn't judge, but I have to ask, is this really necessary?

I don't know, maybe I will change my mind when I get pregnant, but personally, I don't really feel like a "push present" of diamond jewelry is necessary just because ... I gave birth like women have been doing for thousands and thousands of years. Not to knock the miracle of birth, as it is a miracle that I would like to be a part of one day. But I think maybe giving birth to my child, and having my loving and supportive spouse by my side would be enough. And if he REALLY wanted to give me a present? Maybe instead of buying me jewelry, he'd hire a cleaning service.

The other thing that weirds me out about this article is that all these women seemed to have basically hinted to their husbands that this is what they wanted until their husbands bought them the "push present." It's not like it was even coming out of the husband's head as a nice, unexpected, romantic thing to do for his wife. If you really, really want jewelry (and I have to admit, that I am not immune to the allure of jewelry) why not buy it yourself? Especially if you're having to hint to your husband about it anyway. I mean gifts are nice and lovely, but to me, what makes gifts special is the surprise element of them. (I would think this would be especially true when you share a bank account with someone. It's not like the gift is free, really. It's coming out of your budget.)

But again, I haven't gone through pregnancy, or labor, so I don't want to be unnecessarily harsh. To me, this feels like excessive consumerism, but I'd be interested to know what those of you who have kids think about this.

5 comments:

hypoglycemiagirl said...

I got a pair of worker trousers in the kind of tear-proof fabric that carpenters wear. They're actually very good for snowbarding since there's space for padding the knees. Great push present.

The bean-mom said...

I once spoke to someone who said her husband gave her jewelry as a gift after the birth of their child. I thought it was sweet and romantic. But she didn't use the term "push present." She made it sound like somthing he had thought of himself, a spontaneous gesture of appreciation (At least, that's how I interpreted it).

Now that *is* sweet--if it really is a spontaneous gift of appreciation. But how romantic is a gift if it's something a woman has to hound her husband into?! I had never before heard the term "push present" before reading this NYtimes article. The article is written in a manner that really does highlight crass materialism.

Getting up with the baby and doing all the diaper changes--now *that's* a "push present!"

ScienceMama said...

I've never heard the term "push present" before either (kind of a gross term, if you ask me). As it happens, Husband got me a pair of diamond earings for my first mothers day (which was about 3 weeks after the Bean was born). Not because I hinted, but because diamonds are the Bean's birth stone, and he gave them to me essentially as a future heirloom ("these are the earrings your father gave me when you were born... they're your birthstone").

But it wasn't a quid pro quo kind of thing, I carried the baby so you should reward me with jewelry.

That being said, pregnancy did ruin my body, so we're paying for my new gym membership out of the joint checking account...

Megan said...

My husband got me flowers and I thought that was plenty. The terminology is definitely weird, though.

Shorty said...

I'm with you. Not that I have kids yet, but hiring a cleaning service would be the best gift ever! Hmm, perhaps I should make sure Dave reads this blog now...