Ladies! Are you tired of the same old body? Looking to change your physical appearance for the better in 2010?
Then I have just the idea for you!
No, I am not talking about the totally awesome pink button that is all the rage over at the BlogHer blog these days.
I mean really. How many people are gonna see that thing? Your husband? Honey, he's already locked in. And chances are, he doesn't look that closely anyway.
No, if you really want to upgrade your body this year, I have two words for you:
Now you may be thinking, "Huh. I always wanted a boob job, but I've been prevented from getting one due to my environmentally conscious way of life."
And I understand this predicament, believe you me. But luckily, there is now a solution.
An all natural boob job. See, it's simple. Doctors simply suck some of the fat out of your ass and stick it into your boobs.
They're recycling your fat! I mean what's more eco-tastic than that!!
For too long this procedure has been frowned upon by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons who argued that fat recycling (or up-cycling as it were) could make mammogram readings problematic. But now, the society's task force has issued a report with this extremely positive endorsement:
[Fat up-cycling]could potentially interfere with breast cancer detection; however no evidence was found that strongly suggests this interference.
No evidence STRONGLY suggests that putting your ass fat into your boobs could hinder doctors from detecting breast cancer!!
Now, the downside to this extremely natural procedure is that, unlike silicone, you can lose fat. So, if, for example, you start working out, your boobs might go away.
But come on. Who wants to work out anyway? Exercise is so un-eco.
So, do it for you. Do it for your husband. Do it for planet. Hell, do it for Al Gore.
Because you know what they say. Recycling your Brita filter is so last decade. This year, all the cool greenies are recycling their fat.