Yesterday, I remembered that this is Upfronts week, so I clicked over to Deadline Hollywood Daily to see the television schedules for next fall, and what do I find, but that one of my favorite shows is not coming back, and that well ... this is finally happening.
And, a wash of emotions hit me. I was sad for all the people I know who are looking for jobs right now. I was a little relieved that I'm not currently trying to find a job in the industry given how competitive it must be right now. And I felt a little out of it ... I had heard the rumors of an imminent merger, but I didn't know it was a done deal. All of a sudden, I missed the pace, the drama, the excitement.
I have never talked much about my previous life for a lot of reasons. As most of my fellow bloggers will attest, it's always smart to maintain a pretty rigid division of blog and work.
But the truth is, that television and the entertainment industry were a huge part of my life for such a long, long time. And if you count my time in theatre, well, this is the first time since I was 14 that a huge portion of my life isn't tied to the arts in any way.
I am unbelieveably happy in my new life. You know, when I'm not pulling my hair out of my head studying for exams. But there is, and maybe always will be, a little piece of my heart in entertainment.
We have to do presentations once a term for all my classes. Last term, I decided I was sick to death of Powerpoint, and I just couldn't face one more Powerpoint presentation. So I decided, instead, that I would do a performance studies piece on the Narmada Dam. It's a little hard to explain, but what I did is a kind of performance ethnography, where you cull letters and memos, etc, and you sort of weave it all together, acting in the character of the various writers of memos and letters. I threw a little of my own script on top of that, and voila. I had a one woman show.
It was awesome.
I mean, no, it wasn't awesome. It was okay. Had I performed that piece for a performance studies class in my undergraduate university, I probably would have gotten a B. But compared to the Powerpoint presentation I would have done, it was awesome.
And the whole thing made me think that one day, I might be ready to go back to acting. Not trying to do it professionaly again, or anything like that. But I might be ready to go back ... somehow, someway, in some small community theatre or performing 10 minute plays with a group of friends, or just reading Shakespeare in the backyard to myself.
I guess you can take the girl out of entertainment, but maybe, hopefully? you can never take the entertaining out of the girl.
4 months ago